this is a photograph of me

The first three stanzas describe someone looking at a photo of them self. The photo is described in great detail. The photo is of a lake by a small by a lake the photo is all smudged up. But there is no person. Then the next four stanzas are in partheses decribe where they are. I wondered since the photo was smudged because it was very old and she was looking back from heaven.

It was taken some time ago
At first it seems to be
a smeared
print: blurred lines and grey flecks
blended with the paper;

then, as you scan
it, you can see something in the left-hand corner
a thing that is like a branch: part of a tree
(balsam or spruce) emerging
and, to the right, halfway up
what ought to be a gentle
slope, a small frame house.

In the background there is a lake,
and beyond that, some low hills.


When I found out this photo is from the day after they drowned in the lake, I wondered if someone took the photo unknowingly or if it was a police photo. I thought the ()made the last stanzas more intimate like if someone were whispering to me like it was a silly little secret they photo bomed someone’s pretty lake picture. “It is difficult to say where precisely, or to say how large or how small I am: the effect of water on light is a distortion. But if you look long enough eventually you will see me” This made me think of heaven. You can see the angles and loved one but if you’re long enough you can. I thought this could also mean we lose our self’s in life or sadness and can barley find ourselves again.

(The photograph was taken
the day after I drowned.

I am in the lake, in the center
of the picture, just under the surface.

It is difficult to say where
precisely, or to say
how large or how small I am:
the effect of water
on light is a distortion.

but if you look long enough
eventually
you will see me.)